Can you imagine how confused a bat would be at a tap dancing concert?

Where do airmiles go when you die?

How many bars does a ladder need to be a ladder?

My water bottle smells like a swamp. Haven’t washed it for a long time. My attempt to grow a fish is looking promising.

Is a renaissance man impressive or just indecisive?

Only the best magicians wear short sleeves.

I start everyday with an egg wash.

Baby robot is VERY different than robot baby.

No matter where you went as a kid there was always another kid with a sweaty head.

I’m going to farm baby corns. It’s a genius plan that I will need 5 feet of land for.

You know when you were in school and you were like “this is not something for the classroom sink i need the bathroom sink”?

Find me one person on Forensic Files who drives a car with four of the same tires.

~Oven Light Ambience~ 

Having a bath or as i like to say going for a domestic swim.

In my past life I was a CPR dummy.

The dirty tupperware walk of shame.

I threw a party and invited No-Way-Jose and Jeez Louise. They got into an argument that went on for 3.5 hours.